Yesterday the snow fell for hours. It was more snow than I’ve seen in, probably, in a decade. It poured into the evening and left a blanket over the city. It reminded me of a heavy, gentle hand on an aching body - like your mama rubbing your back when you were little. Quieting, slow, soothing.

Oh Holy Night played in our house as I watched Mac watch the snow fall. Eyes big, wondering what was happening. Chris was outside, smoking meat. No snow day for the smoker! He said with the glee of a little kid. He made a snow ball and threw it at a tree. I thought about the future - how much Mac will love this day. How much Chris will love acting like a boy with him.

I thought, as I watched them, about how, if I could go back and tell myself anything when it comes to dating, I’d say this: marry a man who is gentle and kind. Other things sometimes seem more important when you’re dating. It can be easy to get wrapped up in checklists and criteria. But in the end, just marry someone who is kind to you. Marry the man that can make you feel as calm as a falling snow - safe and sound. Marry the one, who, when your mama can’t be there to rub your back, can give you the same sense of peace.

And then, work hard to be just as gentle and kind right back.