I recently listened to Myquillyn Smith on Annie F. Downs’ podcast. She talked about how, when she wants to buy new decor or feels overwhelmed by her home, she takes down all of her decorations and puts them away for a few days.

After she’s gotten used to the cleared space, she adds back the pieces she loves, often placing them in new spots. She said it helps her live with less, as well as see things as new. It allows everything to fall into the right place in her home.

First of all, I tried it and it works. The basket I had under our coffee table? By removing it, I found I no longer needed it. And the plant in the office? Totally brightened the dresser in my room. Our house went from feeling stale and crowded to alive and cleansed.

I don’t try to hide the fact that I’m a summer girl. Fall has always felt like pre-winter to me. I understand that those bright leaves are beautiful, but, historically, they’ve chanted dying! winter! brr! all the way down to the ground.

As we’ve navigated our miscarriages over the last few months, I find my soul aligning with autumn a little more. As things have fallen away, slipping from our grasp, it has created unexpected stillness. The darker evenings are creating quiet in my heart. I find God asking me: What can be released? What can be rearranged?

I’ve yearned, all of my life, for five babies. For a big house full of love and noise and chaos. I’ve also worked hard to build The Letter Project and a freelance web design business. I find God asking me to give it all to Him: the dreams, the goals, the works. He’s asking me to put it all away, just for a little while, so He can show me what should still be here in my life.

I know some of these things will be just like the plant in my bedroom - still in my life, but I’ll see it in a new way, finding the right place for it. Other things, though, might be like the bookend I removed and never put back. It was once perfect for the shelf, but now, has served its purpose, falling away like autumnal leaves.

I’m trusting, today, that I can let go of so many of the dreams, the plans and works I’ve held tightly for years. I’m believing, wholeheartedly, that by opening my hands, I’m creating space for the Lord to put something beautiful in them at the right time.