sometimes, always, never

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Summer Nostalgia

When I think back to this summer, a few years from now, it will be marked by the smell of sunscreen and chlorine. By coolers packed with tiny baby dinners and an overflowing pool bag. It will be marked by rash guards and hats that stay on Mac’s head for only 20 seconds.

His confidence at the pool knows no bounds, which thrills me and terrifies me all at once. As someone whose childhood, if, summarized by a smell, would be chlorine, I hope he loves the water as much as I do. But as he crawls into the deep water, not knowing to be afraid, my own anxiety kicks in. I’m simultaneously googling: how soon is too soon for water skis and how do you teach a toddler to float while buying a puddle jumper.

Last week I overheard a boy tell his dad the break for adult swim was unfair. I watched a little girl eat a Strawberry Shortcake popsicle (my concession stand item of choice, as well.). I listened to the lifeguards blow whistles, Walk!, they yelled across the deck. I read over Wednesday night’s meet results, congratulating the team on many improvements, albeit a loss overall.

The splashing, the hot sun and overjoyed kids made me feel nostalgic for my summers in Indiana. Had I looked over and seen my own mom applying sunscreen to my siblings and me, or dishing out a $5 bill to my older sisters to buy us treats, I wouldn’t have been surprised.

There was a sameness to the scene that felt so beautiful - reminding me of my place in the world. Reminding me it keeps turning, no matter what I do. It’s been a decade, probably, since I spent a summer at the pool. And here I am, returning to it, to learn it all kept going without me. Finding comfort in the symmetry of it all.

I recognize that only a true pool rat could find poetry in this place. But here I am, remembering, yet again, how beautifully small I am in this great, big world.

Happy summer, friends.

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And, a few things I love today:

  1. Lauren Conrad’s new podcast: I don’t normally follow her or have many feelings about her, but I LOVE this podcast. The motherhood episode is my favorite so far, but I also really loved the one with Kristin Ess & with the Home Edit.

  2. The StartUp Season 8: Success Academy: This podcast is so good. About a charter school in NYC. I devoured it!

  3. Lesser Evil Egg & Cheese Puffs: We buy them at Whole Foods and, honestly, the bag is gone in, like, an hour.

  4. Veggiekinds Nutter Butter Cookies (gf!): I’ve made them four times in the last three weeks. They are so delicious! I like to make the cookies, then put peanut butter and Simple Mills Organic Frosting between them. And then eat a million (: so good!

  5. Life Advice for My College-Bound Daughter: Such a good read and applies to, really, anyone. Cue tears.