Coca-Cola Classic. Yes Please!

BANDAGE : BLOOD ::

(A) Cable : Bridge

(B) Cast : Injury

(C) Fort : Army

(D) Dam : River

(E) Pacemaker : Heart

An English major I may have been, but an analogy-guru I am not. This was the portion of the SAT that made my heart race and my pencil begin to tap on the desk. My downfall is that I rationalize everything. A fort can cover an army just like a bandage covers blood, right? Or does the bandage regulate the blood like the pacemaker regulates the heart? I can override any form of rationale with a little reasoning.

NEW COKE : THE FEELING OF A SPLURGE :: OLD COKE : THE FEELING OF FRUGALITY

Bear with me (now that you're aware of my analogy skills).

This weekend I decided to do a little shopping, as I was in search of a new outfit. After buying a skirt from BCBG that fulfilled 80% of my skirt and shirt budget, I started feeling some remorse.

The problem was that the skirt was on sale and sale items cannot be placed on hold at BCBG (only one left, too!). However, sale items are also final sale.

When I discovered this, while simultaneously realizing I didn't have a shirt that was stellar enough to go with such a stunning skirt, I decided I needed to put it down and walk away. If, in fact, I could find a shirt to go with it, while still remaining within my budget, I could return.

As I walked out of the store feeling both frugal and proud of myself, in walked another girl, who appeared to be my size. Fear overcame my frugality and I pivoted and waltzed back to the skirt. Without thinking, I bought it, ignored the sales girl's warnings that items on sale cannot be returned and walked out smiling.

Three steps outside of BCBG I began to wonder what, exactly, I was thinking.

And that's the feeling I'm talking about. The feeling of splurging when you shouldn't have. Shoppers remorse. It's the exact opposite of the feeling you get when you're frugal (aka you're proud of yourself).

And that remorse, when you're uncomfortable and upset, is exactly how I feel about Coke's new fizzy milk. The thought of it makes me uncomfortable and upset, which is the exact opposite of how Coke traditionally makes me feel. I'm normally proud of Coke. I consider myself lucky to be a Diet Coke lover (boo Pepsi!). But now, I just feel like I wish I could return the fizzy milk for a full refund. What was Coke thinking?

I'll admit I haven't tried it, but since I don't like milk to begin with, I don't think it would be worth the effort.

While my analogy wasn't particularly successful, I think my point is still clear. Fizzy coke is not worth the splurge. However, I did end up finding a shirt to go with the skirt, thus my remorse has subsided. But let's be honest, it normally does...

PS: It's (D) Dam : River.

not the brightest idea

A few weeks ago I decided I'd reward my summer of frugality by making a quick trip to J'Crew. I figured I deserved a small splurge. All summer, I've resisted buying myself new clothes and only shopped when I had others to buy gifts for.

After keeping my wallet closed for so long, I thought of a few good excuses to buy a new dress- The Fourth of July, a special date with Jim, and Jim's cousin's wedding. I decided I could only buy a dress for one of the occasions, but having three potential reasons was enough to send me shopping.

But after wandering aimlessly around J'Crew for a solid forty five minutes, looking for something-anything- that caught my eye, I left the store defeated.

Though I'd lost the battle, the war wasn't over. The next day I began the search at Jcrew.com. Guess what? Nothing (minus two neon-patent leather headbands on sale for $9.99).

I was baffled.

Although the Fourth has since passed, I'm still on a search for a dress for one of the two other occasions. And I know I'll be able to find something elsewhere, but I was so excited to treat myself to a little J'Crew TLC.

After further perusing J'Crew's Web site, I've come to realize the issue: there's no color. It's summer and the only real color they're showcasing is coral. Other than a rare splash of yellow or teal (aka citron or aqua) everything is light pewter, weathered stone, or natural.

In this economy people are already walking around with their heads down. The last thing they want to see is a shadow colored top, a dusty shell skirt, and slate shoes. It just sounds depressing.

Seeing as J'Crew's profit increased this spring when everything was bright and beachy (which is in sharp contrast to Gap's 12% decrease) and everything the Obama's sported was brightly colored, you'd think their summer and fall lines would have followed suit.

But there is not enough fresh mint and seaside green in stores and way more than expected in my wallet. I guess I'll have to find that dress elsewhere.

Look out for fall fashion week.

“I miss New York. I still love how people talk to you on the street - just assault you and tell you what they think of your jacket.” Madonna

The bathroom in the apartment I'm subletting is set up with the toilet right next to the shower.

This is very convenient when:

1. I want to start warming up the shower while I'm still using the toilet

2. I want to paint my toenails- it's easy to sit on the toilet and perch my toes over the edge. Spill free!

3. I have the flu but really want to shower- the toilet is near (this, of course, has never happened. I hope to keep it that way).

It's also very convenient when I want to check for criminals. I am confident that my set up is ideal for bad-guy investigating becau

se I do it every night before bed. 

When I go to use the toilet right before I fall asleep, for just a moment I hold my breath, wrap my fingers lightly around the edge of the curtain, and peak very carefully into the shower. After I have seen the shower is free of criminals, I let out my breath and sleep peacefully.

What I would do if I were to find a killer in my shower, waiting for me to peak, I'm not entirely sure. It would make for an interesting moment: me sitting on the toilet making my discovery, the criminal waiting for me to get in bed so he can take all my Q-tips and run.

But this is has never been a problem because I'm yet to find him in my shower. And after I see the emptiness, I'm able to rest easy.

I liken it to the same feeling my parents have knowing that all of their children are safely tucked away in bed and the alarm is armed. Of course, we discovered a few years ago that the alarm we'd relied on for eight(ish) years wasn't connected. But, just as I don't have a plan, the pseudo alarm kept them feeling safe (it's armed now, in case any bad guys are reading this...).

Knowing there isn't anyone in my closet is like having a security blanket or someone's hand to hold. It's something I can count on when I get scared in the middle of the night- I know I'm safe.  

And just as I can count on this safety every night, so New York can count on being the fashion capital of the world.  But, for the first time in five years, the fair city was knocked to number two, losing to Milan.  

Critics chalk it up to the recession- it ruined NYC's ability to have glitzy parties and throw around haute couture. 

Now, I've been to Milan, and while I wasn't invited to their fashion bashes (per se) I was able to fall in love with their style, their shopping (amazing!), the way the models hop on the the subway and act oblivious to the fact that their adorable hats nearly brush the ceiling of the car. 

And Milan does have a leg up on NYC as it's home to the world's first mall, but I know NYC will bounce back. 

The recession will end, the parties will resume, the Dom Pérignon will flow, and the diamonds will sparkle.  And just as my shower stays empty at night, New York will soon be back on top. I just know it. 

beauty

"I do know that there is  way of being beautiful, even as age takes its toll, that has something to do with the spirit filling with joy, something to do with the union with another human being, with the sense of having done well at something enormously important..."