Currently (and historically) I have two lasting loves: George Clooney and the Hermes Birkin bag.
Finally, if you were to see George Clooney on the street, you'd stop and stare shamelessly.
In a lot of ways, they're one in the same.
My crush on Georgie presents no threat to Jim. Even if I dream of being held in his arms, Jim knows that my time with Clooney will never come.
Similarly, even if I dream of holding a Birkin in my arms, my time with it will likely never come. Therefore, the purses on my shelves, like Jim, do not feel threatened.
Beyond the threat factor, though, George Clooney is a classic. He's almost so classic that he's a cliche. Birkin is the same way.
Sure, lots of girls want one, but it's not even creative. Go for the Speedy 40 or something. It's at least a little controversial. (Kind of like having a crush on Matthew Mcconaughey. We all know he's cute, but at least he's not everyone's taste).
Finally, if you were to see George Clooney on the street, you'd stop and stare shamelessly.
The metaphor holds true with Birkin. The other day, I was at the mall (with Jim, ironically) and I saw a real live Birkin bag. And for just a minute, I had a strong desire to follow the woman carrying it, just so I could watch the bag in action.
This elusiveness comes with the unattainability that both Clooney and the Birkin maintain; it makes them desirable.
This unattability is often underrated. I used to date a guy that always said the key to getting a boyfriend is getting a boyfriend. And he's exactly right. Once you have a boyfriend, suddenly all the other guys, who thought you'd be waiting around for them forever, are interested. You're unavailable. You're hot! You're the Birkin bag!
Apparently, just like getting a boyfriend, the only way to get Hermes is to get Hermes.
Huffington Post blogger Michael Tonello wrote in his book, Bringing Home the Birkin, how he managed to get his hands on many Birkin bags:
"I would go into a store with a list in my Hermes Ulysse notebook and pile up scarves, shawls, bracelets, worth about $2,000. This made me seem a regular Hermes client," Tonello told Reuters in a telephone interview.
"Once I had that pile ready to buy at the last moment I'd ask for a Birkin and they would usually produce one of the back room. In 2005 I bought 130 Birkins in a three-month period -- and you tell me there is a waiting list?"
Not just a waiting list, but a two year waiting list, according to Reuters.
Essentially, Birkin bags are like boyfriends. If you want one, just prove you already have one (or at least a lot of Hermes).
Unfortunately, Birkin bags still range between $9,000-$34,000 and I don't think the theory will work for George Clooney.