This week marks a full three months since we set our New Year's Resolutions and the end of Lent. What we set in January might have gone away and come back again by now.
I didn't make many resolutions at the new year, but for Lent, I decided to give something away every day. I wish I could find a way to describe how good it felt. In a nutshell, it gave me the feelings of (1) making others happy by giving them things, (2) while also purging my own life of things I don't need anyway. I have more white space - both physically and emotionally.
Why am I telling you this? To tell you I'm awesome? Definitely not. Just the opposite, in fact. To publicly address the question I can't get off my mind:
Why was I hoarding so much stuff I didn't need?
I feel sad I've held on to these things for so long that I'm now living easily without. I feel sad I gave away 10 bags of clothes and I still have plenty to wear.
When did I become a slave to consumerism?
This challenge has changed the way I want to live. I feel like I have momentarily broken the more-is-more-mentality in my life. I want to stay outside the circle; I don't want to fall back into the aggressive cycle. I don't want to look at my possessions as an extension of myself or an addition to my worth. I want to look at them for what they really are: possessions.
And, honestly, I want to break the more-is-more-mentality in other areas of life. With my calendar, relationships and words. I don't want to be constantly piling on more and more until I break, but instead practicing an attitude of enough. An attitude of wanting more.
I want to be energized by the abundant good in life and not drained by the wanting. I want to feel peaceful and abundantly filled with Christ's love. I want to believe that I am enough, I have enough and I do enough on this good, Good Friday.
