Five Things I'd Tell Someone Starting their own Business

There are a million articles out there about starting your own business. Some are super helpful, some are a little overwhelming - and everything in between! The resources are abundant! However, there are a few things I have learned during the last eight months that nobody told me before I quit my job to start my own business. I thought I'd share a little bit of insight from down here in the trenches. 

1. Know when to walk away. 

Some days, the creative juices just aren't flowing. Some days, you're going to be super antsy and unfocused. Know when to step away from the computer. Take a break. Go for a walk around the block. Do whatever you need to do to clear your ahead.

One of the perks of self employment is being able to work during your prime hours. If you're a night owl, don't feel like you have to be hustling at 6 a.m. If you're like me and you do your best work before the sun is up, don't feel guilty when your brain shuts down at 3 p.m. Find the rhythms that make the best use of your time and brain. 

2. Take advantage of the flexibility. 

You might not see a paycheck for a verryyyy long time. Enjoy the other, non-financial perks, of your new gig. You're also probably going to work some very long hours, grinding away until something only you can do is just perfect. When you have slow days or your mom is in town, enjoy being able to take a break. 

3. You might be tempted to punish yourself for "not having a job."

I still struggle with this one. Some days, I feel like I should do 100% of the work around the house since Chris goes to work and I don't. I feel like I shouldn't ask him for help since I don't technically have the demands of a nine to five. But, the truth is, if you have this attitude, you'll never create the time and space you need to make your small business into a full-time job. So set your work hours and protect them fiercely. If one of your student-schedule friends consistently wants to talk on the phone at 10 a.m., let her know you love her (so much!), but you'd still like to talk during non-business hours. The more you treat it like a business, the more other people will, too. 

4. Slow down and celebrate the little things. 

One of the funny things about working on your own is there are no coworkers with whom you can celebrate. Find someone who will do a little celebrating with you, then celebrate everything. The blogger you didn't expect to reply? Celebrate it. The radio show you didn't anticipate being on? Live it up! Celebrate the wins a little bigger, because the losses hurt a little more when it's your own business.  Take a breath and treat yo self :). 

5. Remember that money isn't everything.

This creative business you're in? It sustains you. It keeps you sane. It makes it so you can breathe deeply, think clearly and appreciate life a little more. Write all of the reasons that you quit your job down somewhere. On days when it's super hard and your budget is tight and your friends are in Ibiza and you're gonna have to settle for camping, look at that paper. Remember that sanity and living in your purpose are more important than a trip to Ibiza. 

PS: You probably already know this, but: you're going to make mistakes, critical feedback and want to quit. Don't quit! It's part of the process. You can do this. On those days, have this book handy. Read it, highlight it, read it again. 

5 Things You Should Know Before You Quit Your Job

I left my job 100 days ago. If I were President, we'd be talking about what I'd accomplished so far.

I know a lot of people who are thinking about leaving their jobs. A funny thing happens when you quit: people come out of the woodwork and tell you, in hushed tones, that they're unhappy, too. Then there's a certain understanding that passes between us: I get it, I've been there. Sometimes they want a you-can-quit! pep talk. Sometimes they just want to say the words out loud for the first time: I think I might be unhappy at work? The question mark lingering in the way it does when you both know, once the words hit the air, that it really isn't really a question at all. 

I've reflected on my first 100 days a lot during the last few weeks and thought, that if I were doing it again, there are a few things I wish I'd known. So to all of you who are debating, vacillating, wondering daily if you should make the jump, this one's for you. 

Five Things You Should Know Before You Quit Your Job:

1. Even if you don't love your job, you will grieve elements of it.

By the end, I didn't love my job. I didn't hate it, either. I just knew I wanted to do something else. But, I found myself grieving what my job once was. I found myself reminiscing on the good old days, when I would proclaim: I might stay here for my whole life! Those days haunted me and made me question my decision, wondering if I could have somehow gotten that feeling back. 

I also grieved my coworkers, routine and paycheck. And silly things, like office supplies. Gone are the days of unlimited computer paper and pens, my friends. 

2. Your worth is not in your work. 

I'm going to say it again because this is a tough one: your worth is not in your work. I would have told you, before I quit, that I wasn't getting worth from my work. I was wrong. It's nearly impossible not to when you're spending the majority of your week grinding, achieving and managing a constantly reverberating inbox. 

When I'd get home at the end of the day, I typically would have gone to the gym, commuted to work, worked all day and commuted (45 minutes!) home. Then, I'd walk in the door and immediately make preparations to do it again the next day: unpack gym bag, pack gym bag. Unpack lunch box, pack lunch box. 

By the time I'd sit down for dinner, I'd feel like I could run the world after accomplishing so much. I cannot imagine how a working mom must feel: like she's barely getting by and, yet, could do anything!

My routine laid years of groundwork that allowed me to believe I had earned my worth by the end of the day. It took time to undo this way of thinking. During the early days, I had to constantly remind myself that, even if I'm not as busy, I am still enough. Even if I don't get as much done in a day, I still deserve dinner, for food need not be earned. Even if I'm not grinding as hard, I still deserve good rest, as rest is a basic human need. We don't have to earn our keep.

3. It takes time to create a new routine.

I've heard a lot of new moms say they struggle on maternity leave. They've said they feel awkward being at home while their coworkers are grinding. They don't know what to do with the limitless day that lacks their usual structure. Many women have told me that they don't really get in to their groove until the end, then it's time to go back to work.

It's funny because, as I hit my own 12-week mark, I noticed I finally felt like I was in the right rhythm. I'd had moments throughout the earlier days where I'd felt like I was in a groove, but it was typically fleeting. The six-week marker felt more routine than the four, and the nine more certain than the seven. But, then I'd relapse and yearn for more structure. These days, I'm in my groove, but it took time. Give yourself grace and time to figure out how you want to structure you day. 

4. Sit in the discomfort.

Be still with it. Reflect on it. Think about it. What does it tell you? Perhaps that wine used to taste better when you felt like it had been hard earned. Or, perhaps, the TV show isn't quite as relaxing when you don't feel like you worked for it. Listen to these feelings. They mean something. For me, they told me I still felt like I was hustling for my worth. I had to remind myself that I still deserved life's little pleasures, even if I didn't spend the day hustling for them. 

5. You're going to get busy again. 

You're quitting your job for a reason. That reason will evolve. It will grow. And, before you know it, you're going to be busy again, wondering why you didn't relax when you had the time. Enjoy the calm before the storm. 

Even on the hard days - the lonely ones, when I feel like I'm floundering and am confused - I haven't looked back. I have to constantly remind myself to seek not a life of comfort and ease, but one of fulfillment and passion. Will it be easy? Nope. Will it be worth it? From where I'm sitting, it sure seems like it. 

are you in a hurry to matter? // on finding your calling

When I first quit my job, Chris would often jokingly say: You've been given the gift of time! One of the world's non-renewable resources! Meanwhile, I'd be floundering around the house, overwhelmed by where to begin, what to accomplish first, how to make a difference...

Although I had more hours than I needed for the first time in years, I found myself obsessively making to do lists, checking my blog analytics and watching YouTube tutorials about growing a brand. I was creating work for myself because the thought of stillness - of not accomplishing a lot during the day - was overwhelming. I was putting immense pressure on myself to create meaningful output quickly. 

I was in a cycle that I like to call rotary thinking, which can also, more technically, be called anxiety. It's when my brain starts rotating around and around, one oppressive thought leading to the next, when logic and Truth can't find their way in. It led me to believe that an arbitrary to do list was more important than finding stillness. It led me to believe that everyone was watching me, waiting for me to fail, wondering why I hadn't accomplished more yet. 

When I get in these patterns of rotary thinking, the only solution to stop them is a Truth Arrow, which, again, is a totally made up term. But, a Truth Arrow is when something real - something grounding - pops into my brain. And, like an arrow, it shoots across the middle of my circling thoughts, cutting them in half and breaking them up. Back in September, the truth arrow was that I don't have to be in such a hurry to matter. First of all, no one is watching and wondering what I've accomplished, because everyone else is doing their own thing. And, second of all, I don't have to prove that I matter.

Because we all matter, regardless of what we do or accomplish each day. 

If you're like me and you find yourself in a hurry to find your calling, go after your dreams and make a difference in this world, I wanted to remind you, today, that you already matter. You don't have to earn your keep. You have a long time to make a difference in this world and, when the time is right, you will. You are not forgotten, you are not on this Earth without reason. There are seasons for waiting, seasons for stillness and seasons for hustle. Rest when you're meant to rest. Be still when you're meant to be still. And, when it's time to hustle? Get ready, because you're gonna be hustlin. 

Be Still // One Week of Unemployment

Chris and I have Be Still My Soul prints hanging above our bed. We bought them when we were in one of our busiest seasons a few months ago - a nod toward a life we wanted to cultivate.

On the nights when I am tossing and turning, refusing to settle my mind, they remind me of a trick an old bible study leader taught me. She said, when she couldn't sleep, she'd repeat Psalm 46:10 over and over, saying:
Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I am
Be still and know
Be still
Be

Each time she did it, she would take a deep breath as the message simplified, letting a little more calm wash over her. 

Before I quit my job, I felt nervous that I wasn't ready. I constantly wondered if I should stay a little longer - until I felt more certain and prepared. I kept picturing myself out a sea, holding on to a bright yellow raft with one arm. I knew that, at some point, I had to let go. I had to see if I'd learn to swim or plunge into the deep, blue ocean. But, every time I thought about letting go, I would think: oh! I can hold on a little longer. It's not hurting anything.  

During the last week, I've begun to see that I wasn't actually becoming readier by holding on to the raft longer. Saving money? Yes. Staying comfortable? Of course. But, the work that needs to be done in my heart isn't about money and comfort. It's about giving this season fully to the Lord. It's about untying my worth from productivity, to do lists and hustle. It's about making room for rest, play and creativity, understanding that they provide me more connectivity to others.

It's about believing, wholeheartedly, that I am enough, so that I can help other women understand that they are, too. 

During the last week and a half, I've felt pressure to produce something quickly - as if I should be able to say, in just a few short days: voilà! I drafted a book proposal and launched a summer camp and published a few blog posts, too. 

Chris has been a superhero, reminding me each day that this phase isn't about output or income. It's not about hashtags or hustle or page views or followers.  It's about creating more white space, consuming good works and researching women + worth like crazy.  

It's about remembering there are seasons for hustle and seasons for slowing. There are seasons for holding on and seasons for letting go. It's about believing that, regardless of whether I sink or swim, I'll never regret giving up my life raft and letting the cool blue wave wash over me.